A Missionary in Ohio: April 21, 2014

Hey!

That's cool about Wes and Charity! I'm sure that was awesome for both of them! Thanks for working on the package :) I appreciate it. Especially the no Candy thing. Cause yeah. I'm just not that into candy.. haha I was gonna ask for some other stuff in the package but I forgot haha. Oh well. So this past week was interesting. Decently better than what we've been having but for some odd reason I lost the ability to think and reason for myself and people we're working with... It was very weird and a little frustrating cause I couldn't figure out what was going on and couldn't think of a way to get out of it! haha Oh well things are getting better now. So yeah that was interesting. So life continues on as it usually does for us. Had our usual meetings. Went on exchanges with E. Schow. And tried to teach a few lessons haha. JK. actually we were able to find a couple people this week. So that was cool and we had a lesson with Dwayne at Bro. Winslow's (our WML) house. Dwayne is so cool. He's already read like all of 1 nephi and was reciting to us how awesome the Tree of life was. And how he liked the story of when they had to go back and get the plates and etc etc. He had notes and questions and it was way cool. So he said he's gonna try and give 4 hrs a day to read until he finishes the BoM. He's a total miracle.

We've started to try and help the Less-actives in our ward too. Most have been wanting to get back into church oh and btw! This past week we got a hold of Sheree and we're gonna meet with her again. She still has concerns and feels kinda inferior. Which we told her wasn't true. It's just the high standards we hafe. So hopefully we can start to clear that up. But yeah. So I guess the main point I wanna talk about is something that I figured today. And with Easter and the time we have to remember Christ's sacrifice I had a little "Duh" moment. So recently (I think with the lack of good sleep and being brain frazzled I haven't really felt like I've progressed much or anything like that with the past few days. So I've been doing different things to help out. And they've worked to a certain extent. So with my weaknesses and flaws and also my perfectionist self I have a little cycle of beatin myself up and then falling, but luckily I have the character of always pressing forward. So that is kinda like taking a couple steps forward and backward and such. So Today when I was just kinda over all of this I just asked God "K what am I missing? Please fill me in so I can at least know the next couple of steps I need to take in the fog. I feel I'm so close. Please show me." So I flipped open to Moroni 7 where it's talking about Faith, Hope, and Charity. I've read that a bunch of times before and today it just had a different "Duh" meaning haha and then I read in the book "Continuous Conversion" about the atonement. And So pretty much after reading that I've realized that most of the way I do things is by sheer will power alone. Working towards some "Checkpoint" where I deserve the help of God to overcome my faults. And this is all stuff I've learned early before but have forgotten cause my focus has gotten a little screwy. So I'm here like "DUH" haha you're an idiot. You and Christ are supposed to work together. Yeah his Grace makes up our slack and all that but so often we over look the fact that He is actually the one walking beside us up the Mountain. He is the one who catches us when we fall (only if we let him) but he is always right there beside us. When we try and get up on sheer will power alone (granted some have the ability to keep doing this but only to find themselves constantly tripping, while others trip and just stay there totally defeated) And the part I love is that if we remember that this life and process of true conversion is a joint effort. The day we stand to be judged will be a grand one because we will have walked the path alongside with the one who made it possible to stand before our maker. I am stubborn and try to do things my own and I do have the ability and strength to get myself decently far. But just like it was mentioned in General Conference. We can get so much farther with God on our side. He can do much more with us than we can by ourselves. So that was a cool little moment for me. Good thing god is patient with us all as we try to learn the lessons we need. I know deep down that God needs me for a big purpose. I've had experiences to lead me to believe that. I'm not sure what it is quite yet, and it's a daily process but I do feel I'm heading in the right direction and that is all that matters. I love you all. Thanks for all you do and your love and support! I hit my 19th month mark on Saturday haha it doesn't feel like that at all! I feel like it's only been a year still. But I guess it'd be smart to start figuring out a game plan for that... Eh. It'll happen how it's supposed to happen! K love ya!!

Love,

Elder Derrek Bowler