A Great Smile...

Hey Mom,

 

Thanks for the update. And thanks for sending the book. I think that'll help with me trying to keep on trucking. I also realized that you're right. I just need to stop trying to figure it out on my own and just have faith things will work out and stop fighting 120%, Cause it's exhausting and does put me into survival mode and I think that's why I haven't enjoyed my mission at all so far. Or make me feel like this is all worth it. But those things will change. I'm trying to let go of everything and better myself and try to feel good about what I'm doing. Cause yeah we're teaching people and some are close to baptism some have huge blocks (it's gonna take a while for Mike to get his testimony) and Joe Hamilton I never taught (just talk to at church) so I don't really count that as "mine" but for some reason all this just isn't getting me excited or "loving" missionary work. A lot of the week is spent tracting or walking around and just exhausting so I'm trying to get the vision back and get to the point of "I love my mission" and I will. I'm trying, I just don't know what to do for Mike. But it'll come. It always does. This last week wasn't too bad. We walked a ton... we walked clear out to the Hilltop area 3 days in a row. (3 hour walk round trip) and all the people we wanted to see out there didn't work out (our Bishop gave us 12 in-actives to contact) we contacted most but haven't gone in to talk for more than 2 minutes. Wednesday was random, We woke up and there was 5" of snow on the ground. and it stuck and yesterday was almost 70 degrees... Ha this weather sucks. but it's Ohio. We met with Mike on Tuesday and taught the "big 3" he has a problem with tithing the most. But he'll get there. We've done a lot with that and told him it's just one of those that you just gotta do to see it really works. He chews but said he can give that up and we don't have to worry about Chastity. I told him to look up the patterns of light videos and he did, hopefully that helped. He took us to Burnzie's on Saturday (a bar/resturant) and that was good food and also we talked a little about the videos and such. Transfers are on the 21st so I dunno if I'll stay or go. I probably will be staying while E. Peterson goes (he's been here forever) but we'll just have to wait and see. And he's just done with the ward and area. so yeah. We'll just have to wait and see what happens there. Oh we had dinner at the Billings again and they brought a non-member co-student for Bro. Billings, He was a funny guy. not an investigator yet but had questions (PS I made your chicken croissants and they loved them:)) but E. Peterson was telling everyone about how Nonstop (a mormon dancer [way good look him up on youtube] who served his mission in Brazil) played soccer with some Brazilians and said if he won they have to learn from them and if he lost they said he had to get a tattoo. Well the missionary lost, got a tattoo of Brazil and the guys were impressed and ended up getting baptized anyways, Well that somehow ended up with Dave and us and me getting a tattoo... haha It was actually pretty funny. anyways it was a good dinner and pretty fun. Oh also I gotta tell you, So there is this special needs guys (cerebral palsy I think) in his 40's and he is our "class president" in gospel principles and I love the guy. He totally understands everything that is being said (he can't speak just moans) but he is so cool and he picks who says the prayers and it's either us or him. And I love hearing him pray. I can't understand anything he says but I love the spirit they bring. Just like when I did special needs mutual back home. It's cool and I love seeing him smile. Not much has really happened missionary wise this past week except for these few things. The Hilltop area is still as sketchy as ever, even during the day. But I still think it's cool to walk through just cause you see really interesting people and you just gotta laugh and say what the heck. still haven't been robbed.. yet. But things are good out here. Time is starting to pick up and I'm doing better with morning schedule (100% this last week!) and studies. (trying to get my retention skills back, Spiritual learning is definitely different than what I was good at back home) Time is picking up. I'm still trying to do better on focusing on other people. It's hard though sometimes cause my problems are still there and I want them gone so I can focus better on others but that dumb paradox kicks in to play. Well I guess I'm trying to become more converted cause I think that's why I'm having a hard time figuring out what to do for our investigators. But I'll get there. Thanks for everyone and their prayers, love, and support. I'm getting better daily and can't wait to see how I'll be in a year and a half! Love ya tons! PS. tell Ashton and Dallen to Ignore Calvin and Alec (if Alec is still being a jerk but mostly Calvin [he wrote me so I kinda know] but they are both good kids still and the whole depressing thing and feelings do stop. I know they get picked on a ton and I hate it so I'm going to talk to Calvin cause I'm tired of them getting picked on) tell them I love them both (Alec and Calvin too) and they're all great kids. Thanks!

 

Love,

Elder Derrek Bowler.
The picture is of all the snow we woke up to on Wed.