Hey Mom and everyone!

 So thanks for your e-mail mom. Don't worry about the past one. I understand everything is just out of whack a little and it's stressful with Calvin. I wouldn't worry too much about him (I know that's hard) but I emailed him and he'll be fine. He'll come back and if he isn't back by the time I come home I'll work on him. But I think he's just hit that point that everybody has to go through, Really finding out if this church is true and all that jazz and I told him that I'm basically in the same boat. I had a good upbringing and never really questioned anything or tested it out for myself kinda thing and getting out here on the mission has forced me into really finding my testimony and what I believe. And I wish I figured crap out before I left, but I guess I felt prepared enough to be okay. Ha was I wrong. I'm just getting frustrated cause like my mind isn't as sharp as it once was so like it's really hard for me to get a handle on things and figure things out where as before I was able to kinda thing. So I was talking to Elder Peterson yesterday when we were tracting and he said he kinda went through the same thing cause and it's been brutal this last week cause I honestly felt like I was going to pass out at any given moment. Which is really weird but my body hates me or something and yeah. What else is new, But he said that he had a hard time focusing and all that that I'm kinda going through and said it just clicked one day. He doesn't know how but it did, And I kinda thought to myself that since I knew what my mind was capable of before, if I can somehow figure out how to get that back then it'll be so much better. Cause it's really stopping a lot cause my memory is gone. Ha I can't remember one day from the next or what happened 5 minutes ago type of thing. So I'm working on getting all that back and it's definitely been a trial. And Nana. I'm not tip toeing my way in or trying to keep one foot in the world. (although I can see how it seems that way) but I really am trying to figure this all out. Ha and either way Lexi is gonna tear it up and do a lot better than me anyways... That's a given. So I know she'll just do great. Which is good cause I don't want anyone to have to go through this but this is my time in my life where I really find out if this is all that it's cracked up to be. I was okay with the church and had good experiences but never really took the time to really solidify my testimony and really find out if Joseph Smith is a true prophet and all that even down to the very basic of "Is god really there, if so how can I know in a way that the spirit testify's to me" so it's not that I'm trying to be selfish and all that. I just am now questioning everything while still trying to do missionary work and focus on others. Which probably sounds weird or wrong to everyone but it's just what it is. This Last week was hard. It was just straight up rough. We could have been a little bit more diligent and we recognized that and are still striving to be better. So Missionary work from an outside stand point is easy work compared to "normal jobs" but it is seriously so mentally, physically and sometimes emotionally exhausting. And I think the reason I had such a rough start was cause I thought I was fairly solid in everything but trying to teach just felt empty and fake and that's what sucked. And the MTC is just a nightmare. ha you'll never see a place where more men cry in frustration and confusion than there. But it's a good growing experience. Sorry back to this last week. So it's felt like it's been forever. It's really fun scraping by on nothing to eat. I got eggs and butter and some bread with that money (PS. I'm not sure about this but apparently my account can't go below $50 and it's below that so I don't know if it's going to do something about it I just saw the notification on my E-mail. Just and FYI) but our MSF's will be reloaded this Friday so we're all good. The weather here has been ridiculous. Monday it was freezing... Grandpa you weren't kidding about the nasty winters here. It's not that the cold is killer but the bitter humidity just makes a 10 degree day feel like -2 with the wind chill. And we got some snow and ponds froze over which was entertaining. Our numbers were bad this last week and 4 out of the 6 investigators we found are slowly progressing so we didn't get any lessons really this last week. Three member meals. Elder Peterson and I have talked a lot which is good. I found out a lot about him and his past and yeah people think it's all peachy keen but just like you said dad everybody has a story. So he had a rough upbringing and at the beginning of his mission he just kinda burnt himself out so we are both working on getting back up and running. Ha just last night we stayed up till 3 in the morning talking. And for only getting 3 and a half hours of sleep I feel just the same as any other day which is sad. I went on exchanges this last week to Hilliard with Elder Bell. He's a cool kid. Been out for 8 months and kind of around his 4 month mark he kinda went through something similar. And I talked to Sister Nilsen on Friday... Thursday..? I can't remember. But she's a great help and it is really hard getting myself to do things again and stay motivated and commited but she brought up a several good points so I'm just trying to really figure things out. It's a long freaking process. But one day it'll click. Elder Peterson gave me a blessing (Sis. Nilsen's request.. still a good idea) but yeah. This next week we're gonna try and do our best on try not to burn ourselves out we are trying to get the ward to help us but it's been a hard puzzle to put together and my problem solving skills aren't what they used to so I better get it all back before I go to college cause it's just gonna make things impossible. But I'm still trying to have faith. That's been a hard one. And trying to find answers to the weird questions that come to mind and nothing is just satisfying anything so it's definitely hard to keep going at days and there are days where I just want to forget it but I do know that if I go home I'd probably be where Calvin is at and I don't want to risk that so I keep trying day by day. Sorry if it's frustrating for everyone to watch me "not get the picture" but I'm trying. I'm working on it. Trust me I'm more frustrated than anyone but I'm workin on it. Thanks for all the Love and support. Oh PS. funny stories this last week. So while I was on exchanges Elder Peterson tracted with Elder Price (our District Leader) and they got a potential and this chick gave them her number and it was a "1-800" number so we were like what the heck so we called it and it was a stupid sex hot line. Just like a little teaser and it was actually really funny. The chick did a horrible job. And it was really obnoxious but there is a fun story. Oh and we found an old Masonic Temple that hasn't been used in ages so we want to check that out one day. We have fun little adventures (I know I know we'll do better) but we find these random bags in creeks or in the woods and we're looking for money but it'll be someone's frozen work bag or a bag of clothes and just crazy stuff. So we don't know the story behind all this but it's gotta be a story most people don't like to hear. We don't know. But yeah. Elder Peterson fell through some frozen Ice when we walked 5 miles and took a little break and he was near the shore and we were standing on the ice and it was pretty solid and he jumped on it and it cracked and made a cool sound and I told him to do it again and we'll get it on camera and the ice broke and he got wet to the middle of his calf. I haven't laughed that hard in a while. It's cool though. We'll throw rocks and it'll get stuck halfway in the ice and make a sick sound! I got it all on camera. which reminds me. Mom could you possibly send out another SD card? I would appreciate that. I'll send some pictures but that's all for this week! Love you all! Oh and I hope you all don't think Elder Peterson is this apostate lazy fool. He's a hard worker and probably the craziest but best companion I'll have. Haha I definitely will NOT have anyone else like him. But it's all good. We're helping each other out. K love ya!

Elder Bowler

Trying to keep things going...

Hey Everyone.

 

First off I just want to say congrats to Zack!! haha Bro that is so sick!! Washington D.C.?? Ha I've heard stories about that mission! Carry a gun with you k? ;) One of the Elders in my MTC district had a friend in Washington D.C. and He's never been so scared haha it's a giant mixingbowl of people. Glad we both serve in sketchy places :) haha Sister Missionaries always get the safe areas and the cars so with the rise in numbers of sister missionaries lot of Elders will be hitting the trashier places. So Good luck! I can't wait to hear from you and about your experiences! let me know if I can help. When do you leave?? K, off that subject. So this last week has felt like a month. It really has just been such a long hard week. So Monday we had a good P-Day. Tuesday we had Specialized Training which was pretty good. Got to see Elder Foster and Elder Coughlan there. I miss those fools haha and I also saw Elder Wheadon there, and that night we had a missionary devotional for our stake and President Nilsen talked there. Wednesday was alright. Ever since the beginning of this transfer slothfulness has been ever so present and it's been hard getting out and rolling and doing missionary work. So the whole obedience factor wasn't exact and we just weren't succesful at all, cause we had no power. I'll explain later. Wednesday night we went to Sister De La Fuente's house for dinner and she fed us some delicious mexican food... Oh my gosh it was sooo good! Then after we were leaving a couple drunk guys were out front of there house and I heard them yell let's jump them kinda thing but they didn't haha but I was prepared to get in a fight. They just yelled out dumb stuff to us. It's not the first time. Thursday was another slow day I went with Elder Cornia (spanish elder in the complex across from us) to go see Dr. Sullivan and we drove by the Ford dealership and I saw my Raptor and I wanted to cry. Ha they're not very common over here cause there is really no use for them so it's a rare event. Then we got lunch at Sonic and went back. It was good for him too cause he's struggling with his companion from Peru. (he thinks he owns the world..) So that night I called Sister Nilsen and caught her up on everything cause I needed to. And told her about the laziness and all that and she said that we needed to text her at 6:30 or right when we wake up and at 10AM or when we leave to go to work. We got a little rebuked by her. Which was good. And then President called the Next morning... Ha holy crap we felt great after that. And I have already been really frustrated to get out and work and I could have and should have put my foot down a lot even if I am the Junior Companion but yeah. So it helped us get kicked started and out ward members aren't the most supportive cause of previous missionaries and so it's just been a difficult area all around and for the past 3 days we've had to do things ourselves.. So just in the past 3 days we've probably tracted a total of 24 hours.. We did get a ton of potentials and 3 Investigators where we taught a little bit and such but I have never been soo exhausted. These are long days and I have no Idea how I'm gonna keep this up. My body just absolutely hates me and does not want to cooperate with me and so it makes everything so much harder. And I try to not focus on myself and all that and think of other etc. etc. but it is just so ridiculously difficult... two years is a long time for sleep deprivation and struggling. The past 4 months have felt like forever and not much has changed so lately I've been contemplating going home and figuring stuff out and possibly come back out or just stay and keep trying cause it's hard to deal with things while doing missionary work. So I've been praying and seeking answers and help and I just don't know what to do so I'm still working on that. We'll see what happens. It's just hard to see things being better or different. And my focus and attention span has been shot. I don't know what my problem is but I have never been so frustrated in my life and this past week has made everything harder. But I'm still trying. I'm trying to love the people and love the area and love the work I'm doing but it's been a challenge and it almost feels like I'm not doing any good for any one or anything. And that's not me beating myself or anything like that. But just constantly trying to bust my butt and do things and work hard and just being exhausted is just becoming really taxing. So we will see how this next week goes. I have a couple videos that we did and pictures I'll see if I can get those to work. If not you'll just have to see the videos in two years. They're pretty funny. There is always a Police Helicopter circling around near our neighbor hood and there are a ton of Samalians out here that are pretty sketchy.. So I'm glad I'm still safe. Bike areas are a little more dangerous. Hence why I want my knife ;) Anyways I gotta go. I love you all! I'll talk to you next week!

 

Elder Derrek Bowler

Sending packages:

Just wanted to let everyone know that Derrek is in an area where packages WILL get stolen, so if you do send him a package, please make sure that you attach a "signature confirmation" so that Derrek has to sign for it.  Otherwise, he may not get it :).  He'll be in this area for another 5 weeks at least and then he might get transferred or might stay...we never know.  Also, CONGRATS to Derrek's friend, Zack Adair, who just received his mission call to the Washington D.C. South mission!  We are excited for you, Zack!

Westland, Ohio!

K so I don't know what order these will all come in but The Master cheif drawing is done by E. Peterson (he draws) the snowman is one that we saw while walking and the zoomed out shot of it is showing two dogs that are on the roof. they were barking at us and we were kind of amazed. There's some of the apartment, E. Peterson and his watches. And the strip club sign ten photos. so yeah :) So! My wonderful family. This last week has felt like forever. Transfer weeks usually do trying to adjust to new situations... I don't know what president is trying to do or if he keeps getting letters from people to get me out of the area cause I got the six week shaft again! We all thought E. Garner was going cause after zone meeting on Wednesday he got a call from president to be a district leader during lunch (transfer calls come at night unless being called to leadership) but we all thought he was going and he did too cause we had just recieved a district leader the previous transfer but nope he got the shaft too and when we got the calls that night E. Garner was not a happy camper... haha oh my he hated life. He hates Hebron. He hated me. He just hated everything and you could tell. So for him to stay didn't help. So I am now up in Westland, Ohio. It's a part of columbus, Like on the outskirts of town. But I'm back in the ghetto where it's all just trashy. It's Ghetto but not as Ghetto. (that's from a youtube video. try and name it :D) Not as bad as Englewood. Well some parts. There's apparently a neighborhood that we stay out of past 5 o'clock cause bad stuff starts to happen. Ha hopefully I get good stories now. Apparently there's a chick on the top floor who walks around in her thong. I haven't seen her yet but yeah. Lovely. My companion is Elder. Peterson. He's freaking awesome. He's pretty funny and I've talked more with him these past couple of days than I have all down in Hebron. I think his previous companion made him lazy. and the area is pretty dead. It's a bike area and it's hard. So we'll see how this all works out. These first couple of days have been a slow start but imma try and get it up and running. The ward is a bunch of young college families finishing up there medical degrees. And they're not as friendly or willing to help us out as Hebron. So pros and cons to both areas. The apartment is trashy. which I don't mind to much. It's not permanent. But we don't have a ton of appointments and we've been working on some paperwork and fixing the apartment up so like I said. Hopefully we can get the ball rolling. It's a lot colder here than in Kentucky. About ten degrees. But I don't mind it at all. I love the snow and all that and messing around on the ice. (we have a half frozen pond in our complex I am tempted to mess around on. :P) haha but yeah. Hopefully I'll have more to tell about the area next week. But I can tell a lot about E. Peterson. He's half Mexican/Chilean/American. (Dad's white, Mom's the other two.) but apparently his mom looks like Kim Kardashian and Is cousins with Gabriel Iglesias.... So E. Peterson is 2nd cousins with the greatest comedian himself. I already asked for an autograph. Alec! How sick is that?? haha and we have a ton in common. We quote movies, youtube videos, he snowboards and loves cars and worked as a catering chef and he's funny. Just a little lazy and apostate. but it's all good he has a good balance and I'll be able to work with him. He has a bunch of funny stories from on his mission and also some sketchy ones. Like he performed an exorcism. AND.... He's a freaking little rich kid.... Holy mother. He has like $1500 in watches out here. ha it's crazy. but he blew all his MSF on pizza... whatever works I guess. Ha He's a sweet kid though and I'm excited to be able to help him out be a good husband and father and missionary. Cause I know I can at least do that. Anyways. I'll Include some pictures. One of them is a strip club we walked past when walking around. Ha there's like porn shops and all sorts of crap out here. Stupid people. Anyways I love you all. I'll talk to you all next week. Oh and P.S. Mom can you send out some music? haha I desperatly need music and it can be piano (can you send my Jon Schmidt CD and Chris' Two albums?) and motab. and efy stuff. Just anything that is good and uplifting basically. And can you send my two Blender-Balls for my protein shakes and can you send me out my knife? and Grandpa. Can you tell me what brand of tea you use for your cinnamon tea? cause I've been craving that stuff like crazy... K LOVE YOU ALL! Elder Derrek Bowler.