April 28, 2014

Hey Mom!.... and errybody else

Perfect Timing :) So best address is 3158 Balsam Lake Dr Columbus, OH 43219. Transfers are on the 15th of May so I dunno if I'll stay or go but if you wouldn't mind I would love to read that new Brad Wilcox book if you'd be down to send it. If not I can wait... Apparently E. McC got his visa cleared so there's a good chance he's shipped to Brazil... Who knows haha and yeah it was great seeing Mike. He just drove over to our area to come take us to lunch it was fun :) will you forward those pics to me so I can save em? Thanks for working on that package :) haha I've been like a giddy little school girl waiting for it! haha K not really but I'm excited! I am so glad Alec's blog is updated. Imma write him cause I think I know how to help. I sure do miss my bros. I heard from Calvin too. He seems to be doing good. I can't wait to get home to try and kick his butt into gear. Time is definitely going fast now and it's just the craziest thing to me.

Recently like I said I've been working on seeing who God needs me to be and I kinda got stuck but Mike actually helped me out find the solution. So I have had a couple experiences that lead me to believe that God needs me for a big purpose. And I was trying to find this "Big" one answer solution that will just spring board me forward. And I realized something when I was telling Mike this and his answer. So I realized that I'm on the right path. I know I don't or won't have everything figured out now but I was expecting something to just send me flying. And that's not how things are gonna fly. I realized that God knows me perfectly. and Loves me perfectly, Actually my testimony of God's love has grown immensely recently and that's my main focus on helping my investigators. Because NOTHING else matters in religion or church or even the commandments until we realize and understand and KNOW how much God truly and deeply loves us. Then everything else begins to make sense and stops feeling like a burden and is viewed as the blessing it is meant to be. We had the privilege of going to the temple this past Thursday and we got to watch the latest new video. (Bro. Bristow even showed up for a session and that was an extra blessing!) But I love both videos for different reasons. I get different learning experiences from the two combined. In this new one I love how they portrayed God. He has this look of deep concern for our welfare and is constantly seeking and providing solutions for us at every single turn. It was really cool and helped me feel that much closer to my Father in Heaven. I am truly grateful for my Savior, and for a loving Parents both Earthly and Heavenly who truly and deeply love me. I feel it so strong and it fills my heart in was that haven't happened before.

This past week was actually really good. I was able to get out of that little head funk. I still have some moments where it's all cloudy but this past week we were really blessed to see great progress being made here. I guess the biking in -40 degree weather is finally paying off ;) haha and we aren't really doing anything different. But our hearts are a little different and all of the things that are happening are because of God. I'm just regular ol Derrek Bowler from St. Geezy. "And I like to party..." (haha sorry. Hot Rod quote) but I've been seeing more how the Lord is able to use me and my talents to help people here. I've been focusing more on my district and their needs. And in all honestly a DL is nothing special. But I love the opportunity I have to create a closer bond with those I serve along with. To try to help them and motivate them to reach their fullest potential and the things that are happening the credit still goes to God. But I'm grateful he is using me. :)

Dwayne is amazing. He already has a strong testimony and has said "I don't know why more people aren't mormon.." Well quite frankly not everyone can quote the bible like he can and can understand and see how much they compliment each other. He's a testimony builder in multiple ways. How the Lord knows his children and prepares them all (like our GPS' guiding us constantly) and how the Book of Mormon changes lives. So powerfully. I love the Book of Mormon and I know it's true. I've never doubted it's truth and divinity. But I haven't had a chance to truly see the effect it has on the hearts of man. It's helped me in my life time and time again and I continue to receive guidance and direction. I'm so excited for the things my future holds. For the opportunities I will get to have to become the best I can be. And to one day run into my saviors arms and feel a joy like none other as we both walk up to Father. I am excited to see the person who I will marry and to see our lives blessed from all of this and to understand more clearly the love you and dad and Heavenly Father have for me as I take on the role of a parent. I realized something else this past week during a spontaneous Specialized Training we had this past week. It was more like an Intervention but I did get some good stuff even though I've heard most of it before. I realized how much of a blessing my Mission has been to me now and how great of an impact this Mission will have on my life. I don't think any other Mission or Mission President would have been able to provide that opportunity for me. Because no other mission has the kind of ethic my life truly needs. Our mission is the fastest growing and most productive mission on this side of the U.S. and is seeing growth from year to year. President Nilsen is very good at what he does and recently I've started to have more respect for him. I have never brown-nosed or butt-kissed and deliberately avoid that at any costs. But he's taught me a lot, and that I'm grateful for.

We had a pretty good week. Got to go to a mission open house with Dwayne at the mission home to mingle with other missionaries. I got a chance to talk with some new people and got to see old friends. Dwayne is close to the lord and it is ama-za-zing. Sheree is doing good as well. We helped her paint a room this past week and that was fun. Got to know her a little more and talk a little bit with her. Even had a good lesson after we haven't seen her in forever. This district is awesome and such a good group of kids. They're all making great growth and understanding more what it is to be a missionary. We had a huge finding challenge this past week and we set a goal for 15 gators (which is pretty decent for our district. Since finding is harder in some areas) but we shattered that and found 30. It was so cool getting the calls from each area and seeing the growth they made this past week. And we all rejoiced together. Alma 29: 14-16 Dwayne is now on date for May 17th and we're excited for him. He will be a great addition to this ward and wants to help other people cause he feels the Lord can greatly use him. Especially cause he's black. (He said that haha) in his own words he said "I don't know if you know this but I'm black" when he told us about the Lord using him haha. We're making good progress with an eternigator Sam Lee which was awesome to experience and see. Hopefully we'll be able to help her build a relationship that's clear and recognizable with God. I told her to forget about everything about the mormons that stops you from joining because you don't wanna give up you past life and just focus right now on developing a good relationship with God. That matters more than the Word of Wisdom, or the Coffee of the Weed or Tithing. Understanding those things come over time and will make sense eventually. I love you all. I am very grateful for the man I am today and for God's help in getting me here. I love my family more than words will ever give justice to and I love all the friends I have. I especially love those who I have been blessed by out here. My Converts, My fellow missionaries and the members I get to serve along side with. This past week was really good and has helped me to appreciate his area and the work that has gone in it. I love my Father in Heaven and my Savior Jesus Christ and I am truly grateful they never abandon me. Even when I'm being a stubborn little turd. haha I am grateful for the testimony I have and the faith I am blessed with. Thank you all for your help and blessing my life. I am here because of your efforts. Here are a couple fun pics from this past week. Including our Zone at the Temple. :) LOVE YA!!!

Love,

Elder Derrek Bowler 

April 21, 2014

Hey!

That's cool about Wes and Charity! I'm sure that was awesome for both of them! Thanks for working on the package :) I appreciate it. Especially the no Candy thing. Cause yeah. I'm just not that into candy.. haha I was gonna ask for some other stuff in the package but I forgot haha. Oh well. So this past week was interesting. Decently better than what we've been having but for some odd reason I lost the ability to think and reason for myself and people we're working with... It was very weird and a little frustrating cause I couldn't figure out what was going on and couldn't think of a way to get out of it! haha Oh well things are getting better now. So yeah that was interesting. So life continues on as it usually does for us. Had our usual meetings. Went on exchanges with E. Schow. And tried to teach a few lessons haha. JK. actually we were able to find a couple people this week. So that was cool and we had a lesson with Dwayne at Bro. Winslow's (our WML) house. Dwayne is so cool. He's already read like all of 1 nephi and was reciting to us how awesome the Tree of life was. And how he liked the story of when they had to go back and get the plates and etc etc. He had notes and questions and it was way cool. So he said he's gonna try and give 4 hrs a day to read until he finishes the BoM. He's a total miracle.

We've started to try and help the Less-actives in our ward too. Most have been wanting to get back into church oh and btw! This past week we got a hold of Sheree and we're gonna meet with her again. She still has concerns and feels kinda inferior. Which we told her wasn't true. It's just the high standards we hafe. So hopefully we can start to clear that up. But yeah. So I guess the main point I wanna talk about is something that I figured today. And with Easter and the time we have to remember Christ's sacrifice I had a little "Duh" moment. So recently (I think with the lack of good sleep and being brain frazzled I haven't really felt like I've progressed much or anything like that with the past few days. So I've been doing different things to help out. And they've worked to a certain extent. So with my weaknesses and flaws and also my perfectionist self I have a little cycle of beatin myself up and then falling, but luckily I have the character of always pressing forward. So that is kinda like taking a couple steps forward and backward and such. So Today when I was just kinda over all of this I just asked God "K what am I missing? Please fill me in so I can at least know the next couple of steps I need to take in the fog. I feel I'm so close. Please show me." So I flipped open to Moroni 7 where it's talking about Faith, Hope, and Charity. I've read that a bunch of times before and today it just had a different "Duh" meaning haha and then I read in the book "Continuous Conversion" about the atonement. And So pretty much after reading that I've realized that most of the way I do things is by sheer will power alone. Working towards some "Checkpoint" where I deserve the help of God to overcome my faults. And this is all stuff I've learned early before but have forgotten cause my focus has gotten a little screwy. So I'm here like "DUH" haha you're an idiot. You and Christ are supposed to work together. Yeah his Grace makes up our slack and all that but so often we over look the fact that He is actually the one walking beside us up the Mountain. He is the one who catches us when we fall (only if we let him) but he is always right there beside us. When we try and get up on sheer will power alone (granted some have the ability to keep doing this but only to find themselves constantly tripping, while others trip and just stay there totally defeated) And the part I love is that if we remember that this life and process of true conversion is a joint effort. The day we stand to be judged will be a grand one because we will have walked the path alongside with the one who made it possible to stand before our maker. I am stubborn and try to do things my own and I do have the ability and strength to get myself decently far. But just like it was mentioned in General Conference. We can get so much farther with God on our side. He can do much more with us than we can by ourselves. So that was a cool little moment for me. Good thing god is patient with us all as we try to learn the lessons we need. I know deep down that God needs me for a big purpose. I've had experiences to lead me to believe that. I'm not sure what it is quite yet, and it's a daily process but I do feel I'm heading in the right direction and that is all that matters. I love you all. Thanks for all you do and your love and support! I hit my 19th month mark on Saturday haha it doesn't feel like that at all! I feel like it's only been a year still. But I guess it'd be smart to start figuring out a game plan for that... Eh. It'll happen how it's supposed to happen! K love ya!!

Love,

Elder Derrek Bowler

 here's our district today after playin some baseball :) it was fun!

Here is a Easter video I want everyone to see!

http://easter.mormon.org/?cid=HPTU041514694

April 14, 2014

Hey Guys! So yeah mom if you can send a little extra so I can get some different soaps and detergents and such that would be cool. The mission doctor got me a prescription that should just get rid of it completely and also a cream to put on it twice a day. It's just really weird cause I've never dealt with this before. But it's cool I guess. I got a letter as well this past week from Alec too. It's funny cause he said he used to hate my advice cause he thought it was hypocritical cause it was when I was struggling and I only gave him the advice so he wouldn't have to go through the same stuff I did! haha But he's grateful for it now which I'm glad. Everyone is on a different path and a different time table that only the Lord is aware of.

So this past week was alright. Actually it was pretty good cause I learned things that have helped me a ton. Now the missionary work aspect isn't all that different here to be honest. It's kinda in the same cycle over and over again. Except for Dwayne. He is so sweet! But I'll tap into that in a bit.

So after conference I learned things that I needed to hear. And throughout the past week I've been trying to apply them a little more. THAT and I got a letter from Beecher which was exactly what I needed to hear cause it added to the other thoughts I've been having and then we had a Zone Meeting that helped a ton. So main focus through all of it was Gratitude. Bottom line. Which I always knew but like I think I mentioned before I've been trying to think of ways to finally break out of my "perfectionist" type cycle where I muster up the courage to give it my absolute best, fall short in one or two points, and then fall. and Fall hard! then repeat the cycle. and just get burnt out on trying and then just stay miserable and failing to enjoy the little moments that can pass by but have an incredible impact on our lives. So that's what I've focused on more and more, Even though this area is a little more difficult and isn't sprouting "immediate" results. I do know deep down that I am still doing the necessary parts of missionary work. I gotta keep reminding myself of what you said mom. Where in Westland, when I was struggling I was able to feel successful because of the efforts of some other missionary. And me and who I was and my personality were needed and saved for that specific time. Now it's my turn to pay it forward. I've grown more, understand more. Yes I'm still human and can be discouraged and disappointed because it is very hard sometimes to find so many people who are not ready at this moment to accept the gospel fully. We actually got dropped by Thayle and Everett Sunday morning while trying to get them to come to church. They're some of the nicest people I've met here and they say they "Know" that this isn't right for them. and right now it probably isn't. Thayle will prolly be the one who starts to give it another shot later down the road. She even said. Right now they're in the process of gaining a strong faith in God, Which is amazing btw, and also she said that if the Mormon road was something God told her to hop on later down the road she'd do it. So it was good that they said that. We baked a cake for them and all this other stuff to gain their trust (which it worked and they love having us come over even still haha) so we'll keep in touch with them. Like I said. Just Sowing the ground. haha

So along with working on being more grateful (which has worked a ton) Beecher thanks for the words of President Hinkley "The trick is learning to thank the Lord for allowing us to have the ride" after talking about how life is like a train full of loud noises and smoke and just not all that enjoyable but every once in a while you'll get beautiful skies and vistas to look at. And how important it is to thank the Lord for ALL of it. And that's how I feel my mission has been. Pretty rough. Full of trials. Some pretty far out there, but am now starting to make my nightly prayers just straight gratitude. And it was really quite amazing at what happened. I just felt better. Better about my situation. Closer to God and my testimony is just becoming more and more clear amongst all the cloudiness and smoke that life can bring. That was something they asked us to do in Zone Meeting and it was really cool. Sister Nilsen also came up with the "Desire Cycle" which is cool cause you can work this backwards when you're lacking desire. Lemme see if I can get this to work all legit like.. So at the top you have DESIRE, which leads to POWER and AUTHORITY, which helps us to become more CHRISTLIKE full of CHARITY or that PURE LOVE that leads us to be better and ultimately TRUST in GOD and we use that trust by our AGENCY or CHOICES and then our OBEDIENCE and SACRIFICE to that choice and the FAITH (which is a Gift of God) leads us to a stronger TESTIMONY of JESUS CHRIST which then increases our DESIRE. and they cycle repeats getting tighter and tighter the more we work on it everything becomes more firm and steadfast and in the center of all the is Christ. And Charity. which "Leadeth men to do good" so it's more like a Spiral than a cycle. but hopefully that makes sense. So if your lacking desire. work the cycle backwards and figure out what isn't quite where it should be. like if your lacking the Desire. check your testimony and the way your living in accordance with that. etc etc. It's pretty freakin awesome if you ask me. haha. 

So Dwayne is doing pretty well. We didn't get a chance to quite sit down with him but we've kept in contact. We don't know what happened yesterday cause we tried calling and knocking on his door a bunch. He played Basketball with our ward and balled a little too hard and ended up hurting his back. But He told us he was gonna take today or some day and read the whole Book Of Mormon. Which was cool. And also Whitney Stetlar. A Less-Active member who's avoided church for years. (kinda like Calvin actually) but she'll feed the missionaries cause she feels bad for us. She's moving here shortly but has had a lot of sweet little tender mercies that have softened her heart and she randomly showed up to church yesterday! and then gets up and bears a testimony! I about crapped a brick!! haha I was in serious shock. It was pretty sweet. We also had a funny experience while I was on exchanges with E. Blalock and we were teaching a lesson with John Mack (A recent convert who had to wait two years to get dunked) He was tearing through the bible and "Street Talked" a couple times which was pretty freaking funny actually. But yeah. Other than that not much has happened. I was able to get this supplement from a member that has seriously helped out with sleep... the past two days I actually wake up feeling like I slept a little bit. And the first night I woke up at 2:30am and couldn't fall back asleep till 4:30. and I still felt rested somewhat! haha nuts right? I also had a pretty cool study on Moroni and the stud he was. (Ties in with the breaking of my cycle) So that was cool. So E. McC has most of the pictures cause I kept forgetting my camera but I'll try and get some soon to everyone. PS. Guess what our mission is doing here soon with the Book Of Mormon Play coming to town? A massive Social Media Split where all these pics of us and what we really do as missionaries throughout our whole mission will hit viral on all different social media sites. That's gonna be pretty tight! K love and miss you all. Mom I don't want a ton of Candy. I'm on 6 months to Sexy and I haven't done to well with the first month hahaha. But Whatever you wanna send please send :) Gum would be much appreciated. If they have Costco size packs for 5 gum RPM mint kind that would be sick. if not Polar Ice is cool too. K Love and miss you all!!! Thanks for the emails!

 Aussie Football!! 

So we just got done playing Aussie football in the mud and rain. SO much fun!! here are some pics from that! So sweet. And hopefully you got the message from mike! K Love ya!!

April 7, 2014

Hey guys!

First off thanks mom and dad for your emails. I'm trying to do better at all that. I hate feeling like a robot so I'm not really one. Just feel like I'm going through the motions at times. Which isn't all that great either. I think a lot of it is just me beating myself up cause I just feel I haven't reached where I thought I would be at this point and just trying to deal with people and situations that I don't want to deal with. But that's the wrong way to look at it I guess. Conference helped a ton actually. I have been looking forward to it for a while now cause all the questions I've been having have just been weighing me down. But I got a little pick me up so things should start getting better. Hopefully soon. This area has just been a little difficult. Which happens from time to time. There were a lot of talks that I likes. Saturday and Sunday morning and also Priesthood sessions were amazing. I got a lot from it all and can't wait to go through and study it all in more depth! I loved both of Elder Uchtdorf's, Elder Hollands, Elder Hallstroms, And the man who spoke about The olympic athletes. That one answered much of my questions.

 So pretty much this past week was transfers and conference weekend so not a whole lot happened. We did have some pretty cool lessons though. And things in the ward are moving forward. Our bishop is actually really missionary minded. it's just trying to help the ward feel the same way. There's only 45 active members basically and I think the task scares and stresses them all out. But our ward just finished a 40-day fast and things have already started to roll forward. So that's cool to see. Dwayne is solid. He is probably the hope for this area that everyone needs. He studies so in depth and wants to dig into the Book of Mormon. He came to Priesthood session and got so much out of it! It was very cool to see. We also taught Donny Brown. His dad is a less active member and Donny is a child of record but never got baptized. I think he's in his 30's. But a car fell on him and drug him for 30 feet and left his bottom half paralyzed. So he's in a hard time right now. But we were able to go over there and hopefully can start helping him. I'm trying my best to focus on others, and at times it's hard cause I think we all feel we need to be right ourselves in order to lift another. (which we do but I feel like I constantly need more improvement. So I sometimes miss the mark.. I'm learning haha) but yeah. Things are starting to pick up and I'm trying to always better myself. It was great seeing everyone at the transfer meeting (I went cause E. Beverley went home) but I got to see Mike and all my mission buddies :) So that was cool. I'm also really glad the sun is shining a lot more! haha I miss the warmth and the sun and heat. (humidity can still be forgotten but I'll take it for the time being haha) I hope all is going well with you guys and know I love and miss you all and try my best to make you all proud. Love ya!!

Elder Derrek Bowler. 

April 2, 2014

Hey Mom,

Thanks for the update. So To be completely honest I don't have much to say. It starts to seem like every week the same things just keep happening. This past week we were actually blessed a little more with people to teach and everything. Actually the one cool guy we found was Dwayne. He related super well to the Restoration and actually quoted the scriptures we use to us! That was sweet. And we also helped move a family that are really cool but not super interested. We're just trying to figure out what to do here to actually get people to progress. This past Sunday all of our gators bailed on us and I was walking around with a bag with egg yolks and chopped veggies and meat to make omelets haha and the member we had with us just took us back to his place and I just made omelets for them there. So. Transfers are also tomorrow. E. McC and I are both staying which will throw my record off a little bit cause Since Westland every area I've been in I was only in for 3 Months and I haven't had a companion longer than 4 1/2 months. and that was Pebbles. So To be honest, I'm a little bummed. This area is burning me out and It's hard not seeing more success cause I just feel like I'm wasting my time and I'm just not really enjoying myself... But Imma keep working hard and start to try and make it more fun. Hopefully this next transfer things pick up! But anyways. Oh Tim is in Jail and that was depressing and everyone else just tells us they don't want to be mormon. They'll listen but that's about it. I also think the 3 sets of missionaries are burning our ward (It's a friggin branch) and so we taught 5th sunday lesson and I don't think that got anyone excited. We're trying our best to tell everyone that they don't have to do the things they usually think of when they hear "Missionary Work" Just be a friend to people around you and just talk about the gospel in super simple ways like "I enjoyed myself at church this past sunday" and then people will ask and if they ask questions then you just tell them "well I have two friends of mine who actually talk about this stuff all the time, we could do dinner or something and I'll invite them over" or you can just invite your friends to activities.. But Everyone is comfortable and don't want to do anything. Which is understandable. So We're constantly trying to find new ways to switch things up cause not much has happened over the past 3 months it feels like. Sorry if this email sounds a little negative. I'm just a little frustrated but it's just a part of my learning and that's what matter most. I love you all. Thanks for helping me out always. How's Alec doing? Tell the family I love em all! I'll write more on Monday! :)

Love,
Elder Derrek Bowler.

PS- The weather is getting better. We were scrimping on miles so we had to bike and we always seem to pick the days when the weather sucks haha. We had a total white out snow storm last week and then yesterday it got to 75 and so it's crazy during spring. Nothings really blossomed yet. But it's getting close. So That was interesting. And we also went on exchanges and met the weirdest people. I even witnessed a drug deal that was less than 5 feet away from us haha. Freaking nuts.... but yeah! And I also was able to pay my ticket the day before I got a warrant for my arrest!! haha We had to go downtown cause I didn't have the extra money to pay online! Such is the life of a missionary! Also mom. If you could put a little extra in with the Excema lotion so I can get personal items that would be great. Love ya!!

March 24, 2014

Hey Everyone!

So I hope everyone is doing well. I'm doing pretty well out here. This past week was kinda rough. I've been thinking a lot about the roll of the sower. And it can be a very hard roll to play. All of the investigators that we had all dropped for the most part or just aren't progressing. We were able to find a couple other people which is a blessing cause we're not completely at a loss. But Sheree dropped us on Sunday after doing some research about Mormons which sucks. I think she'll find her way back though. Tim dropped off the grid again and so we're going to give him a break for a little while. It's been a weird transfer. Cause each week progressively the people just flake out. And I don't think rear ending that guy going 3 miles an hour was a good way to start the week ;) haha but oh well. You live and you learn. Not much I can do except that which is in my control. I'm trying to not feel like a complete failure cause ya know. People dropping can lead to feelings of I'm not a good teacher. And the things I'm not good at I'm trying better to fix those areas. It's been a weird week though. I've been in this little funk and I'm trying to get out of it. We did have a couple good lessons at the beginning of the week. We had dinner with Sam Lee. who is the wife of Jared Lee who is a member. So that was cool. She doesn't like the whole sit down lesson thing or reading the book of mormon or really praying but yet she's come to church every week for the past 5 years cause she's socially converted but doesn't want to give up her lifestyle so she avoids getting a testimony. Or ignores the one she has... I'm still scratching my brain at how to get her to progress.. We also had a lesson with James Hughes. He's an older gentleman and knows a little bit about the church. We had a good restoration lesson with him. But now the hard part is getting in an appointment. Lee Pryor. His Pentecostal church is kicking our butt! They have him so busy over there and he's having a hard time in the "mid-church" phase. He was gonna come to church yesterday but wasn't able to. Which is sad. Yesterday at church everything was focused on Adversity... how appropriate right? It was good. I wasn't able to quite focus as much as I would have liked to. We're doing good. and helping as many people as we can. Yesterday we randomly helped some people move some couches and furniture out of their house cause their being evicted. haha Some real ghetto people but it was cool. I enjoyed it. Made me laugh. I'm trying my best to get out area up and running and being a good leader to help the rest of the district. I gotta do better at focusing on them. We did talk to a couple people though that I felt good about. One was Saturday night. We went to the store to get some cinnamon rolls to make for people and we talked to a lady who has some potential. Her name was Vickie and she was a really nice lady. Then E. McC was gonna pee his pants so we went to the bathroom and there was a guy just chillin in the food court. Only one there and I just decided to talk to him. He was really cool. Claims he's agnostic but I just talked about him and what he enjoyed doing and gave him a card a bore a simple testimony. He's moving up north and actually lives in the Westland ward I think. Or close to it. But that was a cool experience. So not everyday is bad. We have little things that are good but all the big things are what is slipping through. But it's all good. I'm learning lots. OH! we also went on exchanges in the Zone Leader's area and that was interesting... It was a beautiful day around 60 degrees (right now it dropped back down to 27 haha... friggin Ohio..) but we went service contacting in the hood... Not really the best place to do it. We gave some guys a card or two and then turns out it was a drug deal. haha like 2 feet in front of us haha then talked to some drunk rednecks. I also attempted to eat salmon and crab sauce stuff! I didn't finish but I tried it! Grandpa would be so proud ;) haha Then we told the BWC sisters we were gonna blitz their area so they gave us a couple names to try and first door was this like... Schizophrenic Transvestite?... Or something... I couldn't quite make out what she/he was... But anyways that was a funny experience and I couldn't help but laugh cause she like was nice at first and then freaked out on me and it was just surprising. but fun. I love and miss you all. That's pretty much all for this past week. Nothing too special! :)

Love,

Elder Derrek Bowler

March 17, 2014

Hey guys. Happy St. Patrick's Day!

So Bout teaching the drunk guy "I am a child of God" I'm not sure how well he would have remembered it. Still a good idea though. So... This week was pretty rough. We've had a couple good lessons and we were able to get Sheree and her family to church (the people we found last week didn't come and canceled on every appointment we tried to set up with them) one little miracle that happened was that we finally got in touch with Tim after 2 weeks! but for some reason they've canceled on every appointment as well... Pretty much every single day every appointment canceled. And that was very defeating. We've been finding pretty decently. But most of it has a hard time taking off. I liked what you said bout the Sower and such.. That's the conclusion I've come to. But not in that detail. It's hard though, and for me it's not about recognition from anybody. I've never cared about that. But I just feel like I'm not doing any good anymore. Cause like you said, The visible success isn't really there. I've been having a hard time feeling like I'm making God proud. I've made mistakes and done crap and almost like Alec. I've felt I've wasted a lot of time. My mission wasn't what I expected. Haha then again I don't think anybody's is. From all the trials and frustrations and let-downs. I sometimes don't feel like I'm where God wants me to be. Because of the efforts I'm trying to give daily, don't seem like their doing anything. And I feel it's hindering everything else as well. I reflect back on my testimony and wonder if that's the reason. Cause I'm told I can't convert someone beyond my own conversion and etc. So I've reflected on that. And I'm trying now to find my "Why?" to really find my own testimony. Cause I feel it comes and goes and it's not Solid. Maybe I should read previous letters home, but I think mostly it's the 4 weeks in a row of people flakin' out left and right and different trials coming up. I know God is there. But I wanna know if I'm making him even the least bit proud. That's really all I care about anymore. So this past week while in the midst of thinking what it is that keeps me going and why I'm out here. I've run into a couple scriptures and a couple thoughts came to my head that isn't anything set in stone but is gonna keep me going. Like Alma 17: 9-11 (Talks about being an example. Which goes along with what you were saying mom.) and also when I prayed and asked why am I here. the thought came "Because you told me you would." yeah.. that humbled me a bit haha. but it's true. I've never been one to quit but that helped. Still learning. and I'm glad He's patient with me! And just like Brad Wilcox says. Sometimes God waits a little bit until we do all we can to learn and find out our own answer so that we can truly learn more about his purposes and also learn what it is like to be Christlike. Which I'm stubborn and some things are harder to learn than others for me. But I'm getting there. Just gotta get the motivation and drive back up from getting knocked down. But We've been trying to come up with new ways to help the ward get into missionary work because our own efforts aren't following through. We did have a couple fun things happen so don't think that all my thoughts are totally negative. Which they really aren't. I'm just in another situation where I'm forced to learn and grow. And like Alec said. None of the vices we had back home are there to distract us. So it's hard. But it's good. You face disappointments time and time again. And I won't really see how this all effects me and blesses me till post mission but I can see times where it will help out a ton because I had the knowledge and experience I'm having out here. 

We had a really sweet lesson this last week about the Plan of Salvation with Sheree. Which I think it was the first time we've actually taught the Plan of Salvation since I've been in this area. Which is crazy. But it was cool cause they said they felt a peace about some things that had happened. (Lot of lost loved ones) and That's one thing I'm grateful for is the knowledge of the P.O.S. (the good POS haha) so that was cool and they all came to church with us and were ready when we got there and it was sweet. Her two little boys were super shy but they're funny (Tyler is 6 and he said to Sheree when we first stopped by "That guy is Handsome" talking bout me. and yesterday to keep em entertained I just had them draw me some pictures of robot aliens haha :) I keep this stuff. Which isn't surprising.) but yeah they also said they liked church and so hopefully they'll come next week. She is like our most solid investigator that we have right now. So that's cool. We also had a cool lesson with another guy we tracted into (it's hard to get appointments with him too) but we stopped by his house and he was cooking dinner and we just talked a little about the Book of Mormon. and we just taught him how to pray and after we walked out of the front door he actually thanked us. Which helped a ton. I think that's the first time I've ever been thanked. So that was cool. And after that I actually felt the love of God in my heart. It was brief but it was a great stepping stone for me. And I'm glad that I am able to reflect on it. We played glow in the dark Dodgeball that some missionaries threw on in our zone for the community. That was cool. We got Tim there and he seemed to enjoy it. Saturday we helped a less-active move and that was a pretty tough move actually. Limited on help, And nothing was really prepared. But I got a good work out that day haha. Just glad we could help. Her mom passed away and she's been living in the house and it's just been hard on her. So she's now in the process of healing. Friday I went down to Huber Heights again for the contacts and G-Pa Bristow treated 6 missionaries to lunch! Cray cray. but it was really great to see everyone again. :) I love and miss you all. Dad, I still need your testimony and conversion story and Same to Grandpa Steurer. and anybody else who feels like writing one up :) I love you all dearly. thank you for the love and support you've always given me throughout this crazy life! I officially hit 18 months this Wednesday and it is unreal to think about! Love you all! Sorry if this was scattered!

Love,

Elder Derrek Bowler.